Slow and steady wins the race

The recent news of Dubai's economic crisis brings to my mind the old wise saying which is the subject line of todays rambling.The tortoise and hare story is so relevant and i admire the wisdom of those men who came up with such a visionary statement...

I remember the time we were in dubai when the "action " was taking place.When we went in 2002, it was just the begining of the bubble getting bigger.The hitherto empty roads soon started filling up with cars, the malls got bigger, the apartments got swankier, the crowd got more western, the metro came in, the 'world' and 'palm' projects took the earth by storm, the world's tallest building came up in the shortest time, the people got richer, i can go on and on ....By 2007 when we left, it was paradise, everyone was happy and wealthy,there couldnt have been a better place on earth.So much growth and in such a short time.....

The truth is, Dubai grew exponentially during this period and it was a meteoric rise.

Now, the bubble seems to have burst.The dubai government has no money to honour the debt instruments it has issued.It is a sovereign fund going bust.Imagine if your bank says that they cant honour the FD's and savings account money you want to withdraw...

Why has all this happended?Is it a miscalculation or sheer bad luck ?The moot point to me is too much ambition and lack of fundamentals behind such growth.Let me dig deep into this now...

Dubai's rulers were ambitious and wanted to make it a world wonder.They borrowed money from all and invested them in real estate projects.25% of the world's cranes were in Dubai at one point of time so much so that the crane became Dubai's national bird.With the US meltdown, there were no buyers for the real estate projects and the whole thing is on the verge of collapsing...

Now, lets take this example to derive some learnings for life...

Is too much of ambition a bane? Is it true that anything in life which rises so fast is prone to falling down rapidly?Here, I am also reminded of certain companies and people who grew so fast and came down so heavily subsequently.....

While it may be true that the ambition took them to the heights they achieved, their fall was so drastic that we need to analyse the resons behind their downfall?Is it some fundamental flaw or is it that it was sheer bad luck?



I would lie with that side of the argument supporting the fundamental flaws. I firmly believe that any growth of this proportion can be achieved only with compromises or exploiting an opportunity which is really there and not "created". Companies which grow so big in such a short time may be compromising on profits, governments which grow so fast may be doing something sub prime, people who grow so fast may have compromised on their integrity.We all know what happened to the Harshad mehtas, Satyam rajus and Madhu kodas of the world...



Am i being too critical?Can hard work not be the reason behind this growth?Shouldnt people and companies and governments grow big and in quick time?Arent there examples of growth coming out of sheer hard work and innovation.Microsoft, Infosys ,Sachin ,China are there in front of us, to name a few....



Yes, this is the point am trying to make.. the theory of "fundamentals"- growth based on fundamentals.If you look closely, these companies and people grew on the strength of their fundamentals.There was an opportunity in the software space these companies exploited .Basically, there was a strong foundation on which these empires and people grew.The phenomenal growth was based on strong basics and not just mere ambition..



Ambition is important but at the same time the growth has to be based on fundamentals and not compromises..India is a great example of learning to grow within the constraints- compare this with the US which certainly was more ambitious and which grew so big but has fallen flat now.India truly has been slow but surely the growth now seems to be steady and sustainable ....

Sustainability is the key.It is easy to make a fast buck but is it sustainable?Can you continue to make fame and fortune consistently?People like sachin, amitabh, and companies like Tata are admired only for this- Sustaniable growth based on strong fundamentals...



Compromises can take you high but a fall is imminent....It may be true that one could grow fast with compromises whereas a growth based on strenghts would be slow .But the difference is the steadiness- growth may be slow but surely steady



Watch out for those people and companies which grow very fast.Analyse the basis of their growth.You can derive answers if they are going to be there after some time...



One has to be certainly ambitious, but aspire to grow only on the basis of stenghts and not compromises.The pusuit should be behind identification of those strenghts and not on compromises...

There is this story of this ambitious bird which was advised by someone that it can fly higher if it smears some bull shit on its wings.So it took some bull shit and spread it on its wings and started flying.It suddenly realised that it could fly higher and in that joy started to sing.The hunter in the ground noticed it because of the noise it made and shot it down.

The moral of the story- Bull shit can take you high but it is only a matter of time before you are shot down..

So, lets learn to fly high not based on bull shit but on strenghts ...May be the growth is slow, but certainly it will be steady.

Surely, slow and steady wins the race....

Whole is better than sum of its parts

Yesterday i was eating rasogolla . It was the typical tamil version , a huge one from Krishna sweets courtesy my father in law. It was sweet of him to remember that I dont eat very sweet sweets. I was breaking the rasogolla into parts and consuming it. After eating,I still had an empty feeling, its like they say u should consume a puchka (panipoori) as a whole to actually get the taste and majaa of it. So as I went to bed I remembered this "Whole is better than the sum of its parts" and how much it relates to our life... A strange comparison but i felt it made a lot of sense..

"BREAK to BRAKE"

A short break in my career has put a brake to it.

I was talking to a friend today about my job search. He tells me that his HR friend (a lady) told him that they were not willing to take me as my career had breaks in it. I felt so bad. I can expect this from a man but not from a woman. I always have heard the statement that only a woman can understand another woman's feelings, but here its a lady who has passed this statement without even giving me a chance to prove myself. But I dont believe in giving up, I still continue my search......

"When the world says, "Give up,"Hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.' "

ACHIEVEMENT

A sense of achievement is something which we derive when we put our heart and soul into what we are doing and we accomplish the task.

Ayush has been a sense of achievement for me. When I see him today, I am a proud mother. I am happy he is able to teach me a lot of things I dont know. He makes me think. I am four times his age, but at times the statements that he makes to my reactions gets me thinking and pondering on his response. Children have a fantastic ability to see things just as what they are. They dont analyse, think, twist it in their mind and try to reason things out. I dont know if we will ever come to a stage when we can talk what comes to our mind.

The best part is that todays curriculum makes them see real life. I dont remember reading poetry which talked about day to day activities. The latest poetry being on "Washing". The poet talks about washing day in and day out as a chore which is such a drab. Everytime the poet hears his mom asking him if he has washed his hands after he is back from play, before he sits for a meal and so on... We were able to relate so much to this. We infact even laughed about it saying that I am just like the poet's mom always behind him asking him the same questions.Such simple language and such a simple topic.

I see him reading the encyclopedia and referring to topics that he is learning everyday at school. He puts forth questions which are definetly very difficult for me to answer, but I feel good that he is taking extra effort to learn something apart from his curriculum.

My Son gives me a sense of achievement.

SURPRISES

"Dont tell people how to do things.Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results"

The very essence of a relationship is surprise. Love withers with predictability.To make love a prisoner of the mundane things is to take away its passion and lose it forever.Mystery is what adds spice to life. So go ahead surprise your loved ones.The most important thing in life is to give out love and to let it come in on its own.

Thank u for the surprise visit mouli,gaya,soumya and sundar.

Hospital Hearings

"Be the reason for someone's Happiness,not necessarily a part of it.Be a part of someone's sadness, never the reason for it."

Relating to my earlier topic on true friends, I guess the last week has proved to me who they are. The hospitalisation of my husband had been a mental and physical drain for both of us. If it was not for our friends who called on us every two hours to check ,i dont know if I would have been able to handle myself so confidently. I would like to thank my friend who cheered me up time and again during the last 6 days.

We had our relations visiting us and giving their advice on do's and dont's. This is when i wished that people would understand our state of mind and try and cheer us up. I guess relations are more worried while friends know its time to make us feel relaxed and try and underplay the situation so as to not get us too worked up. I guess the elders still saw us as children and wanted to share their years of experience ,while at that time all we wanted was a smile and some fresh flowers and books to lighten us up from that gloomy hospital atmosphere. Adults should start treating their children as Adult friends.

Some simple learning at the hospital :

1)Don't Should on people(you should do this, i did it when i was sick)

2) Listening is a skill that we all need to learn and practice in all our relationships.

3) Take fresh flowers(provided they are not allergic to them), a crossword book, a book to read.

4) Turn on the vibration mode on your cell phones.

5) Speak cheerful things,talk about the current scenario etc.,(There's something about the hospital that makes everyone want to tell gross tales of other operations, other procedures. This must be nipped in the bud. )

Thank you all for your support.

FRIENDSHIP

Friendship,is a distinctively personal relationship based on the concern that each friend has for the other.Friends can help shape who we are as persons.

How much can we expect from a friend?As parents we know our duties, as a family we know our duties, as a Friend do we know as to how much expectations are there from us?

We have heard this age old proverb " A friend in need is a friend indeed".Trust and Confidence is another very important factor in friendship. Friends love unconditionally. Friends do argue,but its forgotten then and there.

I met my friend of 15yrs yesterday and we started conversing as though we just spoke yesterday inspite of it being years together since we met.

A real friend is the one who has the guts to say "stop whining and move on with life". A real friend is one who does not just drop into your party, he comes early to help you cook and organise. A real friend is the one who ask you why you took so long to call.A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.You know you have a real friend when you call up at midnight and she is willing to listen to you as she knows you are upset. They will be there for you,without asking you any questions and will advice only when they feel you require it. They are beside you to LISTEN. Friendship is when they push you when you need it,not too hard and stand back when the time is right but not too far that you cant reach them. You can do nothing or something with your best friend and still feel that you have had the best time in your life. Your best friends family soon feels like your own.When your heart is broken, your best friend will be the best Band-aid for it.

I've learned that, most importantly of all, best friends will always be best friends, no matter what is happening in their lives, where they are, or what they are doing. A best friend is irreplaceable. This is the most important thing I could have ever been taught by a best friend.

PRIORITY TEST

This is truly brilliant.... It can't get more accurate than this!!!! Sigmund Freud's priorities test.

Five things are happening in your house at the same time. In whichsequence would you solve them?

1. The telephone is ringing!

2. The baby is crying!

3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!

4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!

5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!

In which sequence would you solve these problems? Write the sequence and do check below how your decisions were made. BUT BE HONEST, THEFINDINGS ARE EXCITING. First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then scroll below and read after!

Answer:Every individual point represents something in your life. On the listyou can see which meaning every point has:

1. Telephone represents =Work*

2. Baby represents =Family*

3. Door represents =Friends*

4. Clothes represent =Money*

5. Tap represents =Love life*

- Your chosen sequence determines the priorities in your life

Dealing with Anger

A nice story that I read, thought will share it with all of you.

Buddha explained how to handle insult and maintain compassion.One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake." Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?" The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift." The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself." "If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."The young man listened closely to these wise words of the Buddha. "You are right, o Enlightened One, "he said. "Please teach me the path of love. I wish to become your follower." The Buddha answered kindly, "Of course. I teach anyone who truly wants to learn. Come with me."

TOXIC PEOPLE

I was reading my friend's blog http://geeths-impulse.blogspot.com/, her post motivated me to write my next blog on "Toxic people".

Those with whom we assemble, we soon resemble.

This is a saying which we may have heard many times but find it hard to accept. Have you ever felt that when you meet some people you kind of start feeling depressed after some time.That's a perfect example of the effect of hanging out with the wrong friends. When we are unconscious to the operation of our minds, any indigent thought or feeling that passes through us has the power to strike up a conversation and drag us into its dark circle of influence.

But just the way it is possible to be in bad company that pulls us down, it is also possible to keep positive company that raises our spirits. This means that we should be able to choose whose company we need to keep.

There are people around us who thrive by bringing up painful events to memory and then revel in anger and resentment over it. Some of them love to gossip,critcise,feel jealous,are selfish and judge others , thus raising themselves. These set of people spread negative thought power. We should never encourage such people.Remember that ,in encouraging them you are discouraging yourself.Toxic people can drain you of your health,sanity and energy.

So start right now, let go of these toxic people from your lives. You cannot change their actions but you can change yourself.This positive action will change your life.You will feel cheerful, fresh,light in your heart.

As i write this blog this poem comes to mind..

"Daffodils" (1804)
I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;Beside the lake, beneath the trees,Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:Ten thousand saw I at a glance,Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thoughtWhat wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;And then my heart with pleasure fills,And dances with the daffodils.
By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

LOST to LOTS

I was having a discussion with a good friend (geetha) ,when i came across this statement I made to her over a discussion on how lost we feel when we sit down to do something and when we are just talking we seem to have lots to discuss on topics-be it family, friends, art, current topics,budget,studies and the list is endless. Hence the title.

So i thought why not pursue my passion for art. I came across this wonderful blog created by Madhavi in which she shares her ideas about art and craft http://blogandsoul.com/getcrafty/. She has likeminded people who post their work too. I too joined the bandwagon and must say i did get a lot of encouraging comments for my art. It was indeed boosting my confidence. So lets all move from being LOST to LOTS. Go ahead Explore , remember "THERE IS TIME ,THERE IS TIME"

There isn't time There isn't time

There isn't time ,there isn't time, this is a poem Ayush is studying now. Its a lovely poem where the poet says that there are so many things she would like to do , but there is so little time in the world.

We all keep saying we dont have the time. We have to make time if we need to do something. We make time for office work, household work, children's homework, but why dont we make time for relationship and communication? We are not able to do so, cos relationships have been taken for granted. Be it Good or Bad, I still feel that if we dont communicate enough then over a period the relationship will deteriorate.

Take time out to say a Hello to your near and dear ones. Put a smile on their face.
"So many people to know, so little time"

7 style Uthapam

We had this t saravana and were expecting something really elaborate when we heard the name, but what comes by, small sized uthapam(the likes of which i make for ayush snack box) topped with about 6 varieties of chutney(thenga, pudina, corriander, onion ,tomato, garlic, )last but not least 7th one was the ketchup. oh no what disappointment for srikanth. But, Ayush found it amazing and colourful, so here u go another add on to our children recipe book..

Schezwan Idli

Idlis are a boring food item for the kids, i saw this recipe on tv on "how to make idli look more inviting"
Make idli the ususal way, chop onions, capsicum, tomatoes ,corn and toss them over a little oil. Add schezwan sauce(if u have) else u can substitute it with our good old Maggi Hot and sweet sauce. Add the idlis which have been cut into small pieces. Mix them well and garnish with corrainder. It tasted yumm and looked delicious. Ayush enjoyed it a lot..

Disappointment

Well, a comment from my Sil has given me the next topic of discussion. "Disappointments".

Why are we disappointed?? Because we have expectations. Is it wrong to have expectations then? Well this is a common question which comes to every person's mind when he does not get what he expects. Expectations are like Dreams, You cannot achieve if you do not dream.

We tell our children dream big, then we also tell them if they dont achieve that, dont feel sad. Be happy that you tried.
When we are a child we feel disappointed when we dont get our tv time ,favourite toy, ice cream when we ask for it.
We start going to school, we get disappointed when we dont score well.
We apply for colleges and feel disappointed when we dont get the stream that we want.
We apply for jobs and are not happy with the offers that we get.
We await for our Mr.Right or Mrs.Right and are disappointed when we dont get the perfect one.
We become a mother and are disappointed when our career takes a back seat.
Well there are so many more to come.. but do we just sit back and take it like this. NO , we move on , we compromise, we understand, we self - motivate. In all we should SELF ACTUALIZE.

CHEER UP AND BE POSITIVE.

Anniversary

Anniversary and Birthdays are a good time to recollect how you have grown in your life and relationships. Yesterday we (Mouli, Gayathri, her dad, Madhur, Soumya,Ravi athim,Mihir,Pragny,Srikanth,Ayush and self) had got together for lunch for Mouli and Gayathri's anniversary. We missed you Sunchu and Kams. We had a good time at Saravana Bhavan. I remember this outlet was rather a small one near churchpark school. I saw yesterday that it has not become a 3 tier building with a bakery which just smells yummm when you enter, then the buffet which has about atleast 40 varieties of food may b more too.. Well Chennai has definelty changed a lot since i left 9 years ago. The children had a good time snacking on their favourite dishes like the vadam, roti, mutter masala, watermelon and not to forget the icecream. It was a delight to see madhur enjoying his soup. Such a tiny mouth blowing away the heat and slurping on the soup. look foward to many such get togethers..

Blogging

Hi all, I always wondered why people blog, well I realised it is a good past time. I love to talk and who better company than the computer. So here i start my journey...